I love the sights and sounds of spring. At my client site in a rural part of the south, I get to see all the new calfs, the new little goats (I think they are called kids) and the birds are chirping loudly. I have been quite busy....trying to stay busy....: ) And keep my allergies at bay!The house has some new work done, my brother liked my home's upgrades so much he went back to NY and started work immediately on his. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right? Well, it kind of has me laughing, that I motivated them to do some much needed repairs. Oh well....I am always glad to inspire.
While traveling I decided it was time for a new toy. I have not had a new car in the past 3.5 years. So I went out and got what I wanted! No input from any males, or family members. I have yet to really drive it...immediately after the purchase I had to return to the client site, so other than the first initial 20 miles, I have yet to let her rip. My brother and his family got more joy out of it during their week stay. Now it is sitting in the garage...waiting for my return this Friday!
I got word from my ex boyfriend (Germany) that he is getting married. I am happy for him and of course I kicked myself one more time! Everyone has the story of the one that got away. Mr. Germany is my story....why and how did he get away? My stubborn, idiot butt, and did I mention? My stubborn and idiotic ways got the best of me. I just walked away with no real explanation to him and when I decided to explain why I was so dumb, it was a year later and miles between us could not ease the void. I should stayed with him. I was just stubborn, scared, oh yeah... stubborn and young. As the years have gone by and we have kept in touch, I realized that he is extremely happy. I am happy that he is very happy and I wish them the best!
As for me, I can't say I have been dealt a bad hand in life. I have loved 2 amazing men, Mr. Germany being one of them and my first boyfriend. Both of them, could have been my forever loves. But I let them slip past. I have come to realize that I do meet some incredible men, I am just not ready for them. So while I live what others may deem as a lonely existence....you know how some of your friends think you are not whole without a man. I must say a man does not complete me, but loves does. Only Mr. Croix and Mr. Germany had enough love to complete me. I am glad I have loved, especially those two. Maybe they have prepared me for the real thing? Who knows? Only God...when it happens, I hope he slaps the stubborness out of me.
So the cheater was not one of your great loves?
NOPE, I knew I had issues with him after the first 90 days of dating. Infidelity was an issue then, I decided to give him a chance. Well...we all know what happens when you let a snake be a snake. After the breakup from the cheater, I am extremely happy I have moved on. I had some changes I need to go thru and I feel you cannot grow with someone who is stunted in their own growth and cannot work towards a future. This breakup was necessary....I was just wasting my time. What did I learn? Time waits for no one.
I have accomplished so much in the 6 months apart than I have in the time he and I were together. I am so proud of myself for picking up the pieces, not throwing a pity party and just moving ahead 65 miles per hour! I have not looked back!
I have started a dream board (I got the idea from a Oprah show)...So far I have accomplished 2 tasks and my next goal is to find a older home with a lot of land and to refurbish it by myself! I have one in mind...I will let you know if I get it. I plan on making it my get away for family and friends...a cottage in the country. I have other tasks to accomplish as well : ) But the cottage house is a dream I want to fulfill in the coming years.
The next 6 months are about No Regrets....and I am not allowed to say I am sorry! I have a habit of apologizing for others! No more complaining and whining about the recent wrongs and injustices...I am only allowed to laugh, live out loud and to love!
So watch out world! I am back!
